Kissing is one of those things that makes life for me (as an American) a little more stressful here in Europe.
Here in Zürich, it is normal to kiss people to greet them and to say goodbye. However, I find that I still don't have all of the rules down for this kissing game. Based on extensive observation, these are my findings:
1) Normally you kiss three times. I am still unclear how you know which side on which to start. Starting on the wrong side = awkward!
2) If you're kissing someone from other places in Europe, you can kiss one, two or three times. I have no idea how you're supposed to know people's kissing number before you go for it, but going in for that third kiss when they aren't used to kissing three times = awkward!
3) The actual event of kissing usually involves cheeks touching and air kissing noises. But some people just keep talking to you during the kissing ritual. Other people don't talk and just do the cheek touching thing. Making kissing noises while other people are silently touching your cheek = awkward!
4) If you are an American, people are unsure whether or not to kiss you on the first meeting. Having someone go to kiss you while you are trying to shake their hands = awkward!
5) Depending on the demographics of the group, you can attend a party or function where you have to kiss everyone in the room, which means that you can have doled out a minimum 30 kisses for a small party before the party even starts!
6) Even if people don't kiss you hello, they will almost surely kiss you goodbye. Kissing everyone three times while saying goodbye to everyone means invariably that you end up missing your tram. Missing the last tram of the night = stressful! (This is why I start saying goodbye at least one tram before the last tram. With all of this kissing business, you've got to be strategic!)
I have to say, I don't think that I'm alone in finding all of this a little stressful. However, I think that the worst can be Americans kissing Americans for greeting. Since neither party is a pro, disasters can and do occur.
I recently had an experience in which I was meeting an American (who was fresh off the plane) for the first time. As he was introduced to me, I extended my hand to greet him, but he just kept on coming at me! It took a second before it registered that we were going to have a kissing greeting. And then he landed a big wet kiss on my cheek! I about had a heart-attack! Actual kissing of someone's cheek is not okay in this whole kissing thing, and definitely not a slobbery kiss! I proceed to embarrass myself by totally wigging out- I jumped back and said that we didn't need to kiss for greeting since I was American, I haven't been here long enough to kiss people for greeting, I'm just not used to it, etc. Ooops. But it was just a gut reaction when I saw that he was settling in for two more wet kisses on my poor, defenseless cheeks.
I guess I still have some more to learn about this European kissing thing...
Here in Zürich, it is normal to kiss people to greet them and to say goodbye. However, I find that I still don't have all of the rules down for this kissing game. Based on extensive observation, these are my findings:
1) Normally you kiss three times. I am still unclear how you know which side on which to start. Starting on the wrong side = awkward!
2) If you're kissing someone from other places in Europe, you can kiss one, two or three times. I have no idea how you're supposed to know people's kissing number before you go for it, but going in for that third kiss when they aren't used to kissing three times = awkward!
3) The actual event of kissing usually involves cheeks touching and air kissing noises. But some people just keep talking to you during the kissing ritual. Other people don't talk and just do the cheek touching thing. Making kissing noises while other people are silently touching your cheek = awkward!
4) If you are an American, people are unsure whether or not to kiss you on the first meeting. Having someone go to kiss you while you are trying to shake their hands = awkward!
5) Depending on the demographics of the group, you can attend a party or function where you have to kiss everyone in the room, which means that you can have doled out a minimum 30 kisses for a small party before the party even starts!
6) Even if people don't kiss you hello, they will almost surely kiss you goodbye. Kissing everyone three times while saying goodbye to everyone means invariably that you end up missing your tram. Missing the last tram of the night = stressful! (This is why I start saying goodbye at least one tram before the last tram. With all of this kissing business, you've got to be strategic!)
I have to say, I don't think that I'm alone in finding all of this a little stressful. However, I think that the worst can be Americans kissing Americans for greeting. Since neither party is a pro, disasters can and do occur.
I recently had an experience in which I was meeting an American (who was fresh off the plane) for the first time. As he was introduced to me, I extended my hand to greet him, but he just kept on coming at me! It took a second before it registered that we were going to have a kissing greeting. And then he landed a big wet kiss on my cheek! I about had a heart-attack! Actual kissing of someone's cheek is not okay in this whole kissing thing, and definitely not a slobbery kiss! I proceed to embarrass myself by totally wigging out- I jumped back and said that we didn't need to kiss for greeting since I was American, I haven't been here long enough to kiss people for greeting, I'm just not used to it, etc. Ooops. But it was just a gut reaction when I saw that he was settling in for two more wet kisses on my poor, defenseless cheeks.
I guess I still have some more to learn about this European kissing thing...
